Yoni , pronounced yo-nee, is the Sanskrit word for “vagina” , and means “sacred temple” or “sacred space”.
Introduction – What is Yoni Massage ?
The narrow approach towards yoni massage is that yoni massage, or in its popular name “vaginal massage”, is meant for women who were sexually abused or that it means massaging the yoni for pleasure and orgasms.
The holistic approach is that Yoni massage is a spiritual practice that allows a woman to connect to her goddess essence, her feminine core, her Shakti in its many expressions, and ultimately, connect to God.
The art and practice of yoni massage is a part of sexual tantra and sacred intimacy.
Yoni massage is a whole body experience that includes touching, arousing and massaging the whole body, focusing on the neck and shoulders, buttocks, breasts, hip-joint, and finally the outside and then inside of the yoni, while occasionally massaging the rest of the body.
Yoni massage is meant to work on and involve all the chakras (energy centers), elements (air, water, etc.), and on the physical, energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual levels/aspects.
Yoni massage is recommended and beneficial for nearly all women.
Yoni massage can be done by itself and for itself, or as part of tantric love-making, either before during or after the sexual act; it can be done between same-sex or opposite-sex friends, between lovers or with a therapist.
This series of articles approaches the art and practice of yoni massage from a different stand point than most other resources, focusing on the aspects of Pleasure, Therapy and Spirituality, emphasizing the internal attitudes both partners should cultivate, and describing many theoretical and practical elements which are generally missing or not adequately described.
These articles are meant for couples who are interested in deepening their intimacy, sexuality and their relationship, for men who would like to learn how to pleasure a woman and facilitate her process of opening and healing, and for women who would like learn more about their sexuality and their own body, and later to inspire their partner to explore these realms with them.
This information is not meant to teach a person how to become a professional yoni massage therapist or sexual therapist, as these professions take years to learn, practice and master, and very few are the people who are truly able to perform them.
Note: We are referring to the “giver” or “facilitator” as being a man, but a woman can also give a yoni massage to her she-friend or lover
The 3 main aspect of yoni massage are Pleasure, Therapy, Spirituality
These aspects are intertwined and complementary.
You can not expect to learn how to give a yoni massage just for pleasure and orgasms, as some men do, and some resources focus on. When a woman experiences deep arousal, there will be a pleasure and then sometimes physical or emotional pain will arise; A man needs to support the woman and facilitate her process of accepting and releasing the pain and emotions. Therapy involves facilitating pleasure to dissolve the pain. Pleasure is therapeutic. Deep orgasmic states are a spiritual experience, and both you and your partner need to learn how to let go of the pleasure or the physical body in order to facilitate and support the woman in the opening to these elevated realms of consciousness and existence.
Pleasure: Opening up the whole body to sensation, pleasure and orgasm; Experiencing new and different kinds of orgasms and orgasmic states; Recognizing, deepening and expanding orgasms.
Therapy: Witnessing, accepting and releasing past pain and trauma on the physical, sexual, energetic, emotional and mental levels; Nearly every woman has some issues to resolve.
Spirituality: Yoni massage and tantric love-making can and should be a spiritual practice; An orgasm is a spiritual experience which involves openness, trust, surrender, dissolution and a feeling of oneness, unity and stillness. The experience of yoni massage allows the woman to fully manifest the feminine, Shakti, the Goddess.
Benefits
Benefits of Yoni Massage – for the recipient
There are many benefits and positive results that arise from receiving one or a series of yoni massage sessions. Going from the pleasure aspect to the therapeutic aspect, to the spiritual aspect:
The whole body will become more erogenous, sensitive, pleasurable, orgasmic; Increased awareness and sensations specifically in the yoni
Experiencing different and new kinds of orgasms and orgasmic states
Learning how to recognize, deepen, lengthen and expand orgasms
Experiencing the auspicious feminine manifestation of female ejaculation or Amrita/Kalas
Healing and releasing past pain and trauma
Improving or overcoming conditions like frigidity, low libido, vaginismus, painful/abundant/irregular menstruation, menstrual cramps, dryness of the vagina, pain or irritation during love-making
Bringing health to the yoni, breasts, the whole body and the mind – an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away
Naturally and effortlessly magnifying the aspects of personal love, universal unconditional love, trust, surrender, femininity
Personal empowerment and growth – A sexually open and orgasmic woman will feel strong and empowered
The open state of mind and sexual energy can be used to connect with positive affirmations and intentions such as Femininity, Surrender, Sensuality, Openness, Will-Power, Love, Autonomy, Self-Confidence
Better connection with yourself, with your partner, with men, and with your fellow sisters
Experience receiving without needing to reciprocate
Opening energy channels (Nadis / Meridians) throughout the body and waking up Kundalini Shakti – the flow of spiritual energy from the base of the spine to the crown of the head
Higher states of consciousness, stillness, transcendence, dissolution, oneness
A yoni massage session can be a meditation by itself, or can serve as a preparation for a meditation session.
Benefits of Yoni Massage – for the giver
Although we are more focused and concerned with a selfless action with the highest good of the recipient, there are still many benefits for the giver:
Men who have conditions like STD/STI (Sexually transmitted Infections), temporary or chronic premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, men who already ejaculated, men who are fatigued or elderly, or men who have a small Lingam (The sanskrit word for penis), can still pleasure a woman with their fingers
Men who are starting in sexual tantra and practicing ejaculation control often have to pause moving for a while during penetration or to pull out so they don’t ejaculate. During these pauses, one can give yoni stimulation/massage to the woman
It is very humbling, inspiring and rewarding to be allowed to facilitate pleasure, therapy and elevated states of consciousness, to facilitate and witness the manifestation of the divine feminine
Better understanding of your woman’s specific preferences, rhythms, and challenges (which aspects or areas you need to help her open into)
Better connection with your woman
Learn how to pleasure a woman in many different ways
Experience giving without needing to receive; Give for the sake of giving
Benefits of Yoni Massage – for the couple
Deeper intimacy, connection, and love
Widening the range of shared sexual activity
Better communication and understanding
Attitudes
Many people and resources focus on the technical, practical and physical aspects of yoni massage. However, it is crucial that both partners first do some internal work and cultivate certain attitudes, which will help them engage in the yoni massage (and also in actual love-making) with the right approach and the right state of mind and heart. These attitudes also help in overcoming fears, un-helpful tendencies and the initial lack of knowledge and experience.
Love – do it from love, for love and with love
Aspiration – Aspire to higher states of pleasure and orgasm, deeper love and connection between the two of you, and higher states of being and consciousness
Openness – Allow welcome and cherish free expression of all feelings, emotions, gestures, sounds, pain, pleasure, bodily fluids, etc.
Acceptance and Detachment – Accept, embrace, celebrate and be grateful for whatever arises; Women get stressed when they feel they are supposed to orgasm or to perform in a certain way. Do not expect orgasm and do not put pressure on the woman to orgasm or have any other expected outcomes
Patience and Persistence – “Women are different; Sometimes they are different every day” Things take time; women take time to trust, to be aroused, to open up emotionally and physically, and take time to surrender; Men take time to learn how to pleasure a woman, how to contain her emotions, how to be more present and sensitive; Something that worked today might not work tomorrow or with another partner; Both partners should keep trying, and have patience
Transfiguration – Transform all aspects of the experience into elevated mythical and mystical archetypes – Decorate and transfigure the space into a sacred pure beautiful space, transfigure the experience into a spiritual experience; The man should see himself as Shiva, Krishna, or Don Juan de Marco and transfigure the woman into a goddess, shakti, a manifestation of the divine feminine, a queen in an ancient kingdom, a movie star, a model or whatever archetype he resonates with; He should focus on all the feminine and attractive qualities of the woman, and make himself adore and appreciate the qualities or features he didn’t find attractive at the beginning; The woman should likewise perceive and transfigure herself and allow herself to manifest as Shakti, as a Goddess, and transfigure her man as Shiva
Yoni massage is a process – it unfolds over many sessions spread over weeks, months and years; Allow the body and the soul time to heal and transform; Allow your partner to gradually open up, trust, surrender, let go, and allow the natural processes to unfold; Sometimes it will seem like the condition is getting worse, but then shortly thereafter it will become much better. Even one single session is a process by itself
Enthusiasm, Fun, and Exploration – The experience should be light, enjoyable; adopt an attitude of exploring and discovering together
Selflessness – Men – Invite your woman to enjoy receiving without a need to reciprocate; Women – Allow yourself to receive without the need to give back
Sacredness – Regard the experience as a sacred spiritual practice; Treat each other as sacred beings; Sublime your energies to the higher aspects and energy centers; Meditate together after you finish the session
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